How to deal with gossip at work: instructions and tips. How to stop gossip
It is impossible to imagine a work team without gossip. Employees are divided into groups, whispering, discussing the next victim, sharing the latest news. On a small scale, such conversations do not harm the company. But, if an envious person appears at work, a lover of gossip and intrigue, then the consequences are disastrous. The work capacity of the team decreases, conflicts arise, valuable personnel are lost. And in general, the atmosphere becomes tense, as trust and respect are leaving. How to deal with gossip in the office to keep the work spirit?
What is hidden behind the concept of gossip?
We are so arranged that we are used to discussing the events that have taken place. They read a new book or watched a movie - gave an assessment, encountered an unpleasant scene in transport - discussed people's behavior, quarreled with relatives - shared details with colleagues. The listed examples fall more under the concept of discussion, since behind this there are no vile goals: to denigrate a person, to anger, to deprive him of his position, bonuses.
What is hidden behind the concept of gossip? Workflows are divided into the following types:
Discussion or banter. This form is found in a friendly team. A group of employees gathers for tea and discusses the actions of one of the employees. At the same time, he is nearby, and the information is presented in a joking manner. Or the team discusses the situation that happened the day before. Events can be both negative and positive. Discussing an act or situation presupposes the presence of the person in question. Behind this is not the goal to ridicule the employee, to denigrate, to find punctures in the work of a colleague.
Gossip. In contrast to the discussion, the format of the conversation changes. Information is given secretly, quietly, in a confidential tone. The task of the gossip is to arouse the interest of the interlocutor and show the negative aspects of a particular person. To attract the attention of colleagues, such an employee invents information or twists it. To do this, it is enough to eavesdrop on a telephone conversation and turn what you hear in your own way. Gossip appears for various reasons. A person who spreads false information wants to be in the center of attention, has set a goal to remove a person from his position, envies the employee.
Rumors. Similar to gossip and resemble the game "broken phone". Someone heard the information, then passed it on to another employee, who secretly told a friend, and so on. As a result, the data that reaches the manager is false and highly distorted. Rumors also arise in the workplace, where employees do not receive enough information from the boss.
Worried about jobs and misinterpreting snippets of the overheard conversation, the staff comes up with horror stories about dismissals, pay cuts, and staff reductions.
It does not happen that there is one villain at work who spreads rumors and employees. At some point, a colleague was supported and commended. He warned the boss about the inattentive attitude to the work of a new employee and received gratitude. He started a conversation in the kitchen, discussing a colleague, and got a response from colleagues. The mechanism starts quickly, it is almost impossible to stop the spread of rumors. If you see that subordinates often whisper in the corners, then reconsider the load. This means that the staff has free time to weave intrigues and discuss the boss and colleagues.
Where does gossip come from and how to stop it?
It is generally accepted that women are happy to discuss colleagues. But, if you get into the male team, you will find out that rumors spread in any office. There are differences in the reasons why gossip occurs. Women are driven by curiosity to overhear the conversation of a leader or a successful colleague. Scraps are made up of a story that is retold to other employees. At the same time, a colleague says that he may have misunderstood what he heard. But, the rumor goes to another employee and loses additional facts. As a result, it comes to you in such a disgusting form that from resentment.
How to stop gossip?
It is useless to swear and prove the opposite to the squabbler. The gossip will only conclude that he hit the mark. Otherwise, why are you so pissed off. Therefore, do not communicate with such a colleague, keep communication to a minimum. When meeting, do not talk about abstract topics. Even the answer to a harmless question, how are you, the gossip will twist.
Don't share your secrets. Leave information about personal life, family problems at home. Do not try to tell the gossip that you sympathize with a colleague from the next department. After that, everyone will know the secret, while the rumor will reach in an unsightly form.
Don't comment on employees. In order not to discuss the new one, you have to be an iron man. Hold back and do not give answers to tricky questions: does the employee like how he works, learns information. Get rid of one-syllable phrases.
Talk frankly. Men in the struggle for a career are ready to trip up an opponent. From here, intrigues appear and rumors spread. If you are the victim of gossip, talk to a colleague. Men are straightforward, so they will not play up, express claims and grievances. After a frank conversation, there is a chance to build relationships and continue working.
There is also another situation. Not being the author of gossip, you picked up the information and told the neighboring department. And right at that moment they were caught red-handed. What to do in such a situation. Approach the employee you were discussing and talk in private. Ask for forgiveness, then explain that you did wrong by picking up someone else's words. Do not make excuses, throwing responsibility on the intriguer. After all, you had a choice: not to listen to gossip or not to pass on. You chose the third option, so be in charge of spreading rumors.
How to respond to gossip?
It is unpleasant when you become a victim of an intriguer. You begin to wonder what you did wrong, why a colleague is biased. The whispers of colleagues and sidelong glances that are cast in your direction are offensive. But, frustration and resentment cannot solve the situation. Dismissal will be the best gift for a gossip. If you don’t want to give the squabbler such pleasure, then learn how to properly respond to gossip:
Do not get excited, taking what you hear to heart. Yes, it’s unpleasant to find out that rumors about you are circulating around the office, and they are not true. But, do not rush with your fists at the enemy and threaten with reprisals. If a colleague spread rumors to piss you off, then the goal will be achieved. It is better to send forces to another area. Clarify the situation, where did such information come from, why did a colleague take up arms against you. The true reasons will help develop a further strategy.
Prepare the facts. You need to respond to gossip and restore your honest name. Do not waste time on excuses, conversations with colleagues. Channel your energy into looking for evidence. Copies of minutes of meetings, email correspondence, witnesses to the conversation will do. The search for facts depends on the subject of the rumors.
Having prepared truthful information, speak to colleagues and offer to read the documents. So you will make it clear to the squabbler that it is useless to gossip against you.
Accept the rumors. If tales are told in front of you, in the circle of other employees, then nod your head. Say that what is said is true. Just add irony or come up with. As a rule, petty gossips invent nonsense. If there are adequate colleagues around you, then they will not believe in such nonsense. They will draw the right conclusions, smile at the nonsense they hear and go to perform work tasks. Did they like gossip? Then why waste time and energy on inadequate people.
If you suspect a colleague is gossiping, observe the behavior. External signs are a friendly smile, friendliness, participation, attentiveness to colleagues. Such an employee is on friendly terms with all colleagues. He volunteers for public works, organizes holidays, collects money. From the outside, it gives the impression of an indispensable employee. Often poisoned in the chief's office. Behind closed doors, he takes off the mask of a friendly employee and reports to his boss about the mistakes and mistakes of his colleagues.
How to deal with gossip in the office?
The head of the company sets the atmosphere in the team. If subordinates are in constant fear, unsure of the future, then rumors are born. Then the invented facts turn into gossip and the employees no longer understand where the truth and fiction are. The team is not working at full capacity, thinking about the upcoming changes. To prevent this situation, inform subordinates about the company's plans, upcoming growth or reduction in advance. Talk to the team, find out their fears, dispel doubts. In large teams, this role is assigned.
How else to deal with gossip in the office?
Talk to the troublemaker. Start the conversation not with accusations, but with concern for the subordinate. Say you know this employee is spreading rumours. Ask why he does it. If the intriguer stands his ground, claiming that he told the true truth, then thank and say that you will check the information.
Remove the cause. If the gossip frankly spoke about the troubles, then think about how to help. As you do so, speak your thoughts out loud. For example, an employee was offended that he was not taken to the training. Explain that you do not consider the subordinate to be the worst, but that a budget has been set or a topic that the squabbler knows very well and can transfer experience himself.
Stop the rumors. Tell the schemer that in your office it is forbidden to gossip, discuss other people behind their backs, spread untrue rumors. Offer to approach you next time on controversial issues, express grievances directly. If gossip scattered around the office and stirred up the team, then before the end of the working day, gather subordinates. Tell us that you conducted your own investigation and found out that the information received was not true. Provide facts if necessary.
To stop gossip from continuing, set corporate rules. Write down a clause about the prohibition of spreading rumors, gossip and slander.
Thanks for the signal. There is some truth in every gossip. Rumors do not appear in a vacuum. They are built as a result of observing a person, when eavesdropping on a conversation or accidentally seeing scenes. So check the information carefully. Do not exclude the option that you are not a gossip, but a person who defends the interests of the company.
The most important rule for a manager who fights gossip in the office is his own behavior. Never discuss a person who is not in the meeting. Forbid subordinates to speak badly about colleagues. If someone suggested that employee X was to blame for the delay in the project, say that now call him to the office and discuss the problem together.
Do not consider gossip as an exclusive evil. Scientists have proven that when discussing other people and. This does not mean that gossip should be encouraged in the office. But, a friendly discussion of colleagues will not harm the working atmosphere. The main thing is to teach employees not to talk nasty things behind their backs. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for what happens in the office. Some of the rumors spread out of fear of losing a slave.
January 17, 2014, 10:57 amWe like it when pleasant things are said about us behind our backs: they praise us, are proud of our successes, describe the virtues of character and nature. You begin to feel a hundred times more confident, self-esteem grows, and there is an incentive to achieve even greater heights. A completely different case - rumors ...
Dissolved by evil tongues, they defame us completely undeservedly, "soil" our reputation. Why gossip occurs and how to deal with it?
Word of mouth
The mechanism of spreading rumors is very simple and familiar to everyone since childhood. Remember the children's game "broken phone" - this is the scheme by which incorrect information is transmitted from person to person. This option is also called "oral folk art". As a rule, in such circumstances, the participants in the process do not set themselves the specific goal of harming you, sowing confusion in your soul.
This is due to ordinary human curiosity. Yes, and you yourself are to some extent involved in the start of the spread of gossip about yourself. How? Let's say you told your girlfriend without a second thought at the time of talking about men or specifically a man that you "seem very beautiful" Andrey's eyes from the 3rd department. A friend, most likely, concludes that you have a secret sympathy for this young man, and given that you are not married and your heart is free at the moment, she sums up inside herself: “she fell in love with Andrei.” Maybe the person with whom the conversation took place about the guys is a reliable person, but everything happens: she “blurted out” to one of her mutual friends about her conclusions about you.
And so it went: tomorrow you wake up a woman who is simply crazy about a work colleague. And maybe even worse - the very subject of discussion will learn about your imaginary, invented by others, “feeling”.
How will you understand that you have become a victim of gossip in this case? Hypothetical Andrey, for no reason at all, will start looking askance at you, avoiding the slightest contacts in the service. Or he will show up in your office with a request to “talk”, well, he tells you that he is busy, he has a girlfriend, and he cannot return your feelings, although you are very attractive and smart.
However, most often gossip is spread around a person by his ill-wishers, enemies, who are eager to inflict pain, harm to their victim. In this case, the information disseminated has little to do with reality, and sometimes is completely fiction. You don't have to worry if this happens to you. It’s unpleasant, insulting, but you can’t make excuses and pretend that all this hurts you. The first will play into the hands of gossips, as it will prove to them the authenticity of the rumors spread by them. The second will cause a new attack of gloating, give pleasure, and you don’t want your enemies to be thrilled with happiness, do you?
Know: slander in our country is punishable by law, there is an article of the same name in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, and it is quite realistic to bring a gossip who is very annoying for his own words. To do this, you just need to go to court.
Gossip Fighting Techniques
Ignoring. This method is very efficient. If you do not react in any way to rumors about you, those who are engaged in slandering you in the eyes of others will sooner or later get tired of this useless pastime. After all, the source of gossip is an energy vampire, in fact, the lack of return will not suit him, and he will go in search of a new victim.
Intimate talk. Not the most pleasant way out of the situation, one might even say extreme. It is worth resorting to this method only in the most extreme cases, when, for example, gossip threatens marriage or business success. There is a good chance that by talking to the person who brings imbalance to your existence, you will be able to put an end to the streams of dirt - using the already mentioned slander article.
Stop gossip about yourself in the bud. If an opportunity presents itself, do it by all means. Let's say you run into your best friend's boyfriend at the supermarket. Of course, you start talking nicely. And then, out of nowhere, a neighbor of this very friend comes towards you. Seeing you having a nice conversation with a young man known to her, she is quite capable of conveying this to the attention of the “victim” in a distorted form. But if you get ahead of your neighbor by calling a friend during a conversation with a guy and talking about a chance meeting, you will save yourself from this kind of gossip.
The most important rule: do not pick on the rumors that are winding around you, no matter how nasty and offensive they may be. In the end, gossip means that other people are interested in you, and “if they talk about you, then you are still alive.” In other words, you stand out from the crowd, once you excite the minds of ill-wishers.
Finally, a few tips on how to relate to gossip about others. First, by becoming an accidental witness to rumors about someone, do not turn into an accomplice. Just ignore the received information.
Secondly, if another person trusts you with confidential information, keep it secret at all costs.
And thirdly, do not show excessive interest in the personal lives of others. In this way, you will protect yourself from possible involvement in possible gossip about a particular subject in the future.
And if you can't ignore rumors, then what can you do? Read Step 1 to find out.
Steps
Part 1
Correct reaction-
Don't pretend to be a fool. Don't act like you have no idea what people are saying about you. If you act like you don't suspect anything, then people will only think that the rumors are true. There's no point in acting like you haven't heard the rumors if everyone at school or work knows about them. Recognizing that you know the gossip that is being spread about you is the first step towards resolving it.
- If someone mentions gossip, you can say, "I heard what they say" or "I know what people say about me."
- Better yet, fight back the gossip. If you know about the nasty gossip that is being spread about you (and quickly!), then you can even tell it to other people who don't know about it yet. So they are more likely to be on your side if they hear about it from you than if this gossip reached them through other people.
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Don't show how much it hurts you. Try not to be openly aggressive, not to show that you are sad or upset because of the rumors. Even if they are really unpleasant and hurt you, if you allow yourself to get upset in public, then you will allow the other side to win. If they really upset you, talking to close friends will help you a lot more than if you let the whole world see how sad you are. So don't show your mood, keep your head up high and don't let anyone ruin your mood.
- On the other hand, if you become very upset about the rumors, everyone will be sure that it is true.
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Do not knock out a wedge with a wedge. While it may be tempting to fight gossip with other gossip, you need to choose a more dignified path and not stoop to spreading rumors. Sure, you can start a rumor about the person who started it all, or you can start a completely different rumor just to get people to stop talking about you, but if you do, chances are you'll only make things worse and look desperate and as if you were no better than the person who started the rumor.
- Remember that in the end you want to win. You want people to respect you and think that you are a worthy person. If you want to maintain a level of respect even after a nasty rumor has been spread about you, then you need to keep holding your head up and not think, “If you can’t handle it, join them,” because it’s not for you. will lead.
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Talk to an adult or other authority if necessary. Sure, it may not be fun to talk to an adult or boss about bad rumors, but it can create problems for the person spreading the rumors and make the situation more pleasant for you. If rumors are spreading around the school, for example, and you know who started them, then talking to an authority figure can seriously frighten the gossip and stop the rumors as quickly as possible.
- It's complicated. It is up to you whether you should talk to an adult, or whether you can handle the situation on your own.
Part 2
Taking action-
Stand up for yourself. Do not confuse the desire to stand up for yourself with "self-defense". Since silence is not always golden, it's a good idea to prepare arguments: "I don't believe this is true." or "That sounds like bad gossip to me. That sort of thing can hurt." Look people in the eye when you say this.
- If people ask you about gossip, you need to stand up for yourself no matter the situation. If you brush it off or act like you don't want to talk about it, then people will believe it's true.
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Determine what the plausibility of the rumor is and stop it. People are more likely to pass on rumors that are close to the truth and that are based on evidence. For example, a rumor about an office romance will arise if two people flirt in the office or sit together every day at lunchtime. Once you determine what is the source of the rumor, do your best to get rid of it if possible.
- Don't bother thinking, "Okay, they shouldn't think like that" or "I should do what I want and don't let others think this and that." The bottom line is that they already think, and if you continue to behave in the same way, then gossip will continue to spread.
- Of course, if you're doing absolutely nothing to fuel the rumors, then you can't change anything. And even if you do something that could potentially spark rumors, don't be too hard on yourself in this case!
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Prove it's not true if you can. If you have proof that the gossip is not true, then you must present it. For example, if people say that your boyfriend is not in nature, bring him to the next party. If people gossip about you not being able to swim, throw a pool party. If you can provide a document that can prove that the rumor is false once and for all, don't think it beneath you to do so.
- Of course, one of the problems with rumors is that they are so hard to disprove. Don't go out of your way to prove otherwise if it's impossible.
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Spread the word. Yes everything is correct. Express or write the gossip in a conspicuous way. By acknowledging gossip, you make it less significant. Rumors spread like wildfire because those who spread them do so in order to gain social status, and this depends on whether they know the "deep essence". If you are spreading their "secret information", then they will not be motivated to spread the word. Everyone will know about it anyway!
- Of course, if it's deeply painful, you may not want the world to know about it. If you think talking about it with everyone is the easiest way to prove it's just funny and stop the rumor, then do so.
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Fight the source. If you know who is spreading the rumor, then you may want to talk to the person who is doing it. Be polite, hold your head high, and talk honestly with the person about why he or she is spreading the rumor and tell them about the problems it causes, but try not to look too upset. Say something like, "I know we're not the best of friends, but gossiping about me is not the way to solve problems."
- If you don't want to meet the source face to face, bring a couple of friends with you. Of course, do not put yourself in a dangerous or uncomfortable position if you know that talking with this person will not lead to anything good.
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Take care of yourself. Rumors can upset, anger, or even make people depressed. Whatever people say about you, hold your head up high and remember who you are. Don't let outsiders determine your value in life and be strong in spirit no matter what people say about you. Make sure you spend time with good friends, get enough sleep, and keep an eye on your self-esteem despite what others say about you.
- You can be so busy convincing people that the rumors aren't true that you won't have time to take care of yourself. Okay, you have to focus on yourself—and not on the senseless harm others do to you—if you want to return to a happy, healthy life.
- Above all else, stay calm. People like to see reactions. Staying calm will help kill the rumor and help you deal with similar circumstances in life.
- Try to act like you don't care, and if you do, don't show it. Remember that rumors fade over time.
- Talk to a good friend and come up with a plan to make sure it's not about you.
- If you yourself started gossip, do not deny it. Instead of reacting to what others think of you, admit what you did wrong.
- Talk to the person who believed the gossip and tell them what is really going on.
… no matter how busy people are,
they always have time for gossip
and observation of other people.
Unfortunately (or for someone, fortunately), gossip and rumors accompany us all our lives. First, everyone argues who is our father, then - with whom we sleep, then - from whom we give birth.
Women are evil creatures, and many of them are also unhappy. Therefore, talking nasty things about other representatives of the weaker sex is a well-known tradition that probably came from dinosaurs :).
Today we will talk about how to deal with gossip and people who do not like you. After all, pure ignorance is not always an effective method!
Usually gossip and slander deserve those who somehow stand out from the rest. Perhaps you are prettier than others, taller, thinner, smarter.
Of course, in the mouths of rivals, this can sound like “tower”, “botanka”, “mop”. But you have eyes, and you can REALLY appreciate your appearance, which means that the words of others are just words. From here we derive the First Rule of the Fight against Detractors (PBN):
Not a single carelessly thrown word should affect your self-esteem, self-love, your mood and well-being.
All this is nonsense and "empty", not worth your attention and your nerves. Treat everything with a sense of humor, prepare a few sharp phrases that can be used in the fight against enemies :).
- Violetta, don't you have any more important things to do other than discuss me? I'm sorry, your life is terribly boring!
- Well, girls, it's sad. An hour to spend discussing my person. It would be better if you leafed through the magazine, maybe you will grow wiser!
Understand that a person who is looking for a reason to annoy others is most often notorious and deeply unhappy. That is why, every time he says unpleasant things about you, we remember the second PBN:
You are more successful, more beautiful and better than this person, so just smile and ignore everything that is said about you.
Another way to stop gossip is to have an open conversation. Just walk up to the gossip girl and say something like, “I heard you talk behind my back? Can you tell me this to my face?" From such pressure, few can not be confused. Usually the gossiper mumbles for a long time, then tries to say something, but it turns out badly :).
Ignore, sharp phrases in response, active offensive - all these are methods of dealing with those who say nasty things about you. In the final, it is worth remembering one more PBN:
Never stoop to the level of gossips and enemies by inventing tall tales about their behavior. Don't spread rumors. It is better to say in the eye about the stupidity of the interlocutor than to whisper it after.
Let me tell you a couple of stories from my own life. At school, I had frank ill-wishers. I honestly don't know why I caused them displeasure. Although I'm still sure that I'm an order of magnitude prettier, smarter, slimmer and wittier than each of these strange trio :).
I never touched anyone, my personality itself attracted too much attention. Too tall, too active, everywhere I am in the first place :). Who would love something like this! And these Three Little Pigs: Dirty, Fatty and Stupid constantly annoyed me.
I have used all three methods. I ignored, I made attacks, BUT relief came only at the moment when each of them got a boyfriend :). Do you feel a connection? Self-doubt breeds anger!
Many years later. We all live side by side, and I often see each of the three. The dirty girl learned to wash her hair, but honestly, this did not save her. So something as unpleasant as a stale T-shirt remained in her appearance :).
The fat girl has become even more shapeless, works in a factory, not sure if she eats anything better than fried potatoes and beer.
Stupid became a model. Expected :). Silly and remained, but at least beautiful :).
I received a higher education, instilled in myself an excellent taste, slender, with long legs. I read books, I don't watch TV, I don't drink beer. I prefer to go to the theater, communicate with smart people, learn new things, laugh, ignore idiots :).
I think you understand who spent their lives discussing other people's shortcomings, and who spent their lives making their own even more invisible.
Regarding the second situation, I'm honestly still in shock :). One girl doesn't love me. We don’t know her personally, we never studied together and never talked. She just doesn't love me :). What can I say? Some people clearly have phase deviations :).
Trying to analyze or deal with her "dislike", I think, is useless. Yes, I don't try. I have such a OWN life that living in a small town, unlike most residents, I do not have time to notice who is with whom and how many times :). They notice everything. Including details of who I left with, what time I arrived and with what bouquet I went home.
Before I had a permanent boyfriend, I was seen in some ways :). I had boyfriends and friends in cars, they took me from home, brought me back. You can learn a lot about yourself when you leave home with a classmate in one car, and arrive with your brother in another :).
I tell this all to the fact that live your life, do not waste your time and nerves on all sorts of nonsense and all this will be rewarded with success and happiness
Probably, there is no person who has not become a victim of gossip at least once in his life. How to psychologically protect yourself from them?
Our expert is psychologist Olga Zingman.
Who is under attack?
Everyone reacts differently to gossip about themselves. There are people who even enjoy talking about their person. Psychologists call this personality type demonstrative. A person of such a warehouse longs to be in the center of attention at any cost. He believes that if they talk about him, then he is worthy of interest. Such people not only do not object to gossip, but sometimes provoke their appearance by telling something out of the ordinary or even shameful about themselves.
However, most people still worry because of slander against them. Two categories are especially vulnerable. First of all, these are pedantic people who “get stuck” on the negative. Upon learning that they are gossiping about him, such a person begins to think about it, cannot switch, and exhausts himself. The result is resentment, anger, aggression - extremely destructive emotions that can lead, among other things, to problems with physical health.
The second category - people anxious, not self-confident. They already have low self-esteem, and gossip deals an additional blow to it. Against the backdrop of slander, such a person should be rejected: “what if people hear all these nasty things about me, believe and stop communicating ?!”. Such experiences may well lead to a nervous breakdown.
We build protection
It is impossible to ensure that they do not gossip about you - it simply does not depend on you. It happens that a person, trying to stop gossip, stops telling anything about his life. And as a result, the conversations continue, only now they are based not on real events, but on ridiculous inventions, the creativity of which a science fiction writer would envy.
You should not try to shame the gossip, arrange a "confrontation" for him. Most likely, this will only lead to a new round of slander. Even worse is to make excuses, telling everyone that what was said is not true. Practice shows: the more a person concentrates on gossip about himself, the more vulnerability he shows, the more negative things they say about him behind his back. Therefore, the best thing to do is to pay less attention to "chatter". For this:
Pity the gossip. A person can have many reasons for talking nasty things about you. This is the desire to avenge something, and envy, and - in this case, speaking nasty things about you, he is trying to elevate himself - and simply a lack of bright events in life. Be that as it may, all this indicates inferiority, that a person is unhappy. It is worthy of regret, not anger or resentment.
Work with self-esteem. It is not necessary to make it high, the main thing is that it be more stable. Working with a psychologist will help to understand and evaluate yourself. If it is not possible to go to him, contact your relatives, relatives, friends. To those whose opinion is important to you and who treats you favorably. Ask them to talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Just make a promise to yourself not to be offended by anything - you are trying to understand yourself.
Use psychological techniques. It happens that, despite all efforts, gossip still "climbs" into the head. In such a situation, it will be useful to use this technique. Retire in a quiet environment and imagine how a tower is being built around you. Choose the material you like. It can be even concrete, even wood, even thin glass, but in any case, this material is magical: it is invulnerable to any blows, even to an atomic explosion. And it also has the property, like police mirrors in detective films: from the inside you can see absolutely everything, but you can’t look into the tower from the outside. Build walls at arm's length, you should not be crowded in them. You can take into your tower those who are close and dear to you, put your favorite things there - in general, imagine that you are comfortable and good here. Now imagine the gossips. They are trying with all their might to get into the tower - they make tunnels, send arrows from a bow, throw stones, put dynamite ...
And nothing works out for them - because the tower is impregnable. This is the picture you should imagine every time you hear negative talk about yourself. Over time, you will stop paying attention to them, and life will become more harmonious.
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